My life as a Catholic cardholder

Being the fair-haired brown-noser I am. I quickly became the teachers bitch in my religion class freshman year. I took attendance, warmed up her lunch, scheduled appointments and inputted grades, without gaining any extra credit for it. What I did gain was the Catholic girl of the year award! Being that I am not Catholic, this was quite an accomplishment. With this role, the Catholic girl of the year must read a passage in front of the whole school at mass. Seams pretty easy, memorize a passage, read it aloud in front of thousands of taunting classmates, no big deal. Once I'd done the deed, I sat down in the front row with a sigh of relief. Unfortunately my deed was not done for the day. I had the pleasant task of taking the first holy sacrament. The priest stood at the front of the church while everyone waited for me to take communion, but I, was reverently sitting with my head bowed. I was tapped on the shoulder by a teacher as she whispered, "their waiting dear", I looked up, realizing my new task and whispered "no thank you" to the priest. These catholics don't take no for an answer, so I stood up, took a sip of the wine, had the priest bless me, and place a wafer in my mouth. In the bowl, it looks delicious, like a little Keebler vanilla wafer, but paler and thinner. Once it hits the palate, its a different story. On my o so reverent walk back to my seat I was astonished at the awful taste flooding my buds. I spit the wafer into my hands. At that moment there was a gush of astonishment as I, the catholic girl of the year, was scolded and forced to put this awful wafer back into my mouth. I did as I was told but could not conjure up enough to swallow it. So I kept it in my mouth for the duration of mass. On my walk back to class I spit the soggy wafer back into my hand and slyly threw it on the ground. I thought my act was unseen, but a fellow freshman yelled, "that's the holy sacrament, Jesus' BODY!!!". I had no idea that I'd spit out Jesus' flesh, I felt bad, but I couldn't really believe that God's flesh would taste so bad.